QUEST FOR THE FIREPROOF HAIR SCRUNTCHY
by DanPOWER
Summary: CRACK FIC! I laughed throughout writing it and the joke starts within the first few paragraphs. Danny's ghost half looks like Dan. The hairband holding his flaming ponytail broke! Will he get a new one, and how crazy will his hair become? Parents know!


**Hi everyone, this is the result of a major plot bunny and MAJOR procrastination. I hope you enjoy this, because I think it is HILARIOUS! Please review?**

_**IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND THE STORY!**_**: So in my other full story Danny's ghost half looks like Dan Phantom (Dark Danny) This plot bunny stems from a POSSIBLE future in that story where Danny's family have all found out and are okay with it and he is close to being okay with it himself. When Danny is in ghost form I want you to imagine him looking and sounding like Dan, don't forget! Enjoy this crack fic!**

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Danny walked downstairs. He was blushing profusely and rubbing the back of his neck as he went. All too soon he spotted his mom rummaging around in the kitchen. He walked up behind her and opened his mouth to speak, but then he seemed to change his mind and closed it again. Danny stood there awkwardly for a minute before she spotted him out of the corner of her eye and turned. "Oh! Hello Danny." She said with a small smile. "I was just making myself a sandwich, want one?" She asked, waving around a fold-over heaping with jelly.

"Uhh, no thanks mom." She sat down at the kitchen table and Danny followed suit. He pulled up a chair directly across from her.

Maddie took a bite of her sandwich and Danny watched her as she chewed and swallowed. "Did you have something you wanted to ask me sweetie?"

"Well..." Danny turned beat red. "It's a bit of a favor. Umm... could you make me a fireproof hair scruntchy?"

Maddie blinked in confusion. "Why would you need a fireproof hairband?"

"My old one broke." He said sulkily.

"But you don't use- Ohhhh. For your ghost half.

He adverted his gaze, still uncomfortable discussing it with her. "Yeah."

"Well why do you need a hairband anyway?"

He looked up at her with confusion. "My old one broke." Danny repeated.

Maddie waved her hand and said around a large bite of sandwich: "Yes, I heard you, but I think you can live without a mullet."

At the word mullet Danny began choking on his own spit. Finally he coughed out, "It's not a mullet!" Indignantly.

"Well it obviously is. Except for the fact that it's, well, flaming." Maddie took another bite of sandwich.

Danny spluttered for a moment. "I most definitely do not have a mullet! Just trust me about the hairband thing, okay? Pretty please mom?" He gave her his best puppy dog eyes.

"It can't look _that_ bad." she said and popped the last bit of sandwich in her mouth, licking the extra jelly off her fingers as she did so.

Danny sighed. To anyone who didn't know his mom, they might think she was being stubborn, or non-caring, but he knew this was her way of getting him to show her what exactly was going on. "Fine." Danny said , while standing up. He took a step back from the table and blushed, "It looks really bad ya know."

"It can't be that bad sweetie." she said with a small smile.

Danny almost rolled his eyes, but instead he let the glowing rings change him into his ghost half, fighting back the spike of adrenaline changing in front of his parents still gave him. Danny became taller, and more muscled. His black and white jumpsuit appeared, along with his DP symbol and cape. Then came his face, red eyes, pale blue-green skin, and flaming white hair. But where a small ponytail of his flaming hair used to sit, there was now a chaotic bristle of spikes, jutting every which way. Like a porcupine, except much more disheveled. Danny raised his hand to the mess self-conciously.

At the table, Maddie was trying her hardest to stifle her giggles behind her hand.

Danny blushed a strange green color. "Its not funny." He whined in the deep voice that came with this form.

Maddie managed to put on a straight face. "No, of course not." She said solemnly, then burst out laughing.

Danny's cheeks became greener. "Will you _please_ make me a fireproof hair scrunchy mom? I can't go around fighting ghosts like this."

She finally calmed down. "Okay, okay. I'll put that on the top of my to-do list."

"Thanks." Danny sighed, satisfied that he would get a replacement soon.

"Though it could take me up to three weeks." She added.

"THREE WEEKS!" Danny yelped.

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"Well, there is a possibility..." Maddie trailed off. "Are you sure it has to be fireproof?" She asked. "I mean, it's your hair, it's on your head, and you touch it all the time. It hasn't ever burned you, right?"

"Well no..." Danny told her, "But I think that's because I'm not really sensitive to temperature when I'm in my ghost half..."

"But you don't know that for sure, do you?" Maddie's scientist side was beginning to kick in.

"What if it's some sort of cold fire?" she said excitedly. "It could be, with ectoplasm! We've already proven that your ghost half contains enough ectoplasm to make up about five separate ghosts. It could be some sort of outlet for excess energy, or-"

Danny cut her off. "Mom, its just fire. When I pushed... _him_... into a truck of oil it exploded. The fire was so hot that it was _blue_."

"Hmmm..." she said, stroking her chin and looking up in a classic 'thinking' mode.

"Did you use an ecto-blast to push him into the truck?"

Danny thought, but he couldn't really remember. "Probably..."

"Then you might have set it on fire. If I'm right you can use any hairband." She said, then she got up and began walking towards him. "Here let me see if its hot."

"WHAT? No!" He hastily put up an ectosheild in between him and her. "You might get burt mom!"

"Of course not, I'll feel if it's hot beforehand before I actually touch it. I won't get hurt even if it is hot, don't worry about it." She waved her hand.

"But..." He had a bad feeling, but no real defense.

"We don't have all day Danny." Maddie crossed her arms and began taping her foot.

Danny sighed again. "Fine." He let the ectosheild down. As she walked closer Danny willed for it to be a good outcome. _'Please don't let my hair be too hot. Please don't let my hair be too hot!' _He chanted in his head. It flitted across his mind that that wasn't the every day mantra that people had. As his mom reached up to feel if his hair was truly fire or not he doubled the chanting in his head. Then, right before her hand would have made contact, his hair went out.

He was bald.

Maddie froze and blinked a few times. "What the HECK just happened!"

"Huh?" Danny wasn't aware that his hair had gone out, he couldn't see it after all.

"You're hair just went out!"

"WHAT!" He shouted and then ran to nearest mirror. Sure enough his flaming white hair was gone without a trace. Danny felt the top of his head, eyes wide in shock and horror, his mouth slightly agape.

It looked too funny, and Maddie burst out laughing. She doubled over trying to breathe. This time Danny's whole face turned a bright green. Through her laughter Maddie choked out, "What. Did. You. Do. Danny?"

He turned around, eyes still wide, one hand on the top of his head as if waiting for his hair to spring back into existence. "I- Y-You made me- I was thinking: Don't let it be too hot. And-And it just went out!" He exclaimed. Danny willed his hair to come back, but it wouldn't happen.

"What's going on down here?" Jazz asked as she made her way down the stairs. "I've been hearing lots of-" She froze, taking in the situation. Their mother doubled over with laughter, Danny in his ghost form; bald.

"Wha...?" She asked as she finished coming down the stairs, then she burst out laughing too.

"Aww Come on!" Danny shouted, its not that funny!" He wished he could just sink through the ground and disappear. Almost immediately he noticed the room getting taller. He looked at his legs and they were indeed sinking through the ground. Danny floated back up and reigned in his powers.

Soon both Maddie and Jazz got a hold on themselves, though they both were grinning broadly. Danny looked at them angrily, then imploringly. "How am I supposed to fix this!" He gestured to his head.

"Well, you don't need a hairband anymore." Maddie told him. He glared at her.

"Oh!" Jazz exclaimed, her expression made Danny image that a lightbulb had just sprung into being over her head. She gave his a mischievous look and ran back up the stairs. They soon heard the sound of ripping coming from Danny's bedroom. Danny glanced worriedly and his still grinning mom before flying up through the ceiling into his room. Jazz was standing about six feet from him with a mischievous grin on her face. She was holding his prized poster of the space shuttle, signed by a real astronaut, in the perfect place to tear it right down the middle.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING JAZZ!" He bellowed in his deep voice. He began to rush forwards to grab it from her, but she held up her hand.

"Uh-uh. One step closer and I rip it.", she said matter-of-factly.

"BUT WHY? THAT WAS SIGNED BY THOMAS JONES! MY HERO!" His expression was one of horror.

Jazz just shrugged. Then her hands moved and there was a terrible noise. "Chchchchch!"

Danny jumped. "NOOOO!" But then he saw that it wasn't ripped after all. She had pretended to tear his prized poster, and made a convincing noise to go with it.

She did it again.

Danny's heart jumped into his throat. "STOP IT!" He yelled at her.

Her grin widened. And she did it again. "JAZZZ! YOU HAD BETTER STOP IT RIGHT NOW!"

"Or what?" She said cooly, and pretended to rip his poster again.

"OR I'LL- I'LL-"

"Chchchchchch!"

"AAARRRGGG!" Danny took an involuntary step forwards.

"Oops." Jazz said sarcastically as she made a real rip a centimeter long in the top of the poster.

"JJJAAAAAAAAAAZZZZ!" Danny shook with fury, his eyes glowed red, and suddenly his flaming white hair popped back into being.

Jazz smiled. She walked forwards, and as she walked past him she deposited the poster into his hands. "Here you go. Oh, and I fixed your hair." Then she walked out of the room and back down the stairs.

Danny stared at where she had left, dumbfounded. He gently placed his poster on his bed out flew through the floor to look in the mirror again. Sure enough his flaming white hair was he still needed that fireproof hair scruntchy.

His mom and sister came out of the kitchen.

"It did work!" Maddie said surprised. "Here, Jazz came up with a better idea than mine." She pulled a piece of printer paper from behind her back, and put it up to his hair. Instantly it caught fire and ate up half the paper before she could blow it out. "I guess you were right after all sweetie!"

Danny slapped his face. Then he changed back to human. "I'm still mad at you Jazz." He told her, pointing his finger accusingly at her. Then he walked over and plopped himself into one of the kitchen chairs.

Maddie and Jazz came over and sat down across from him. "We've put you through a lot today honey." Maddie put her hand on her son's shoulder. "I'll make an effort to get that hairband to you soon."

Danny smiled weakly in relief. "Thank you."

"I can probably get it to you in two weeks.

The loud _THUD_ from Danny's head hitting the table could be heard by even the neighbors.

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What did you think, did you like it? Please review! It's easy, just press the magical button right below this message! I hear sometimes, if you're lucky, it passes out cookies!**


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